Chapter 9: The Reckoning



Bob said that I would be back after I had touched enough other souls and could answer the group of beings questions such as whether I thought I had affected those souls more positively than negatively with an answer that came with confidence from me, and without hesitation. He said I would eventually learn to reach for my confidence within and affect others in a positive way in this life, provided that I choose to positively grow my soul. He said if I made the choices in my life that truly came from my heart, after I was finished with this life that I would move on to complete a yet higher purpose in a form just like his. Trips to Gaia would become optional for me then. Bob then showed me to a garden where I could sit to think over my choices and make my decision.


I wanted to know how and when I would be finished on Gaia in a physical form. I asked him when I was to return to be with him again. He explained to me that what I am to do in my future can be altered by me through the choices of which I am the master of - my own choices. He told me that a friend of mine would die in a car accident. He said this friend would be drunk when this happened and I would contribute to this happening somehow. He said I would eventually learn the best way and when to share the wisdom I was given and that I could only influence those who would choose to be influenced because it really is their decision. Bob said that I would have some difficulty convincing myself as well as other humans that my experience was indeed real.


Until I deemed myself worthy of my tasks, I would not be able to complete them. Bob also explained that I need to remain strong inside of myself and that the substances distort the feeling of confidence I would need to perform my tasks. He said it was possible that I could lose my physical freedoms from being judged and thrown into jail for something related to this addiction. Another reason I was given for refraining from substances was that if I used them my vibration would be limited greatly and I would also be prone to punishment from the authorities on Gaia. I was told that it would be a benefit to others for me to refrain from drugs and alcohol in order for me to exert more of my focus on serving others. He said that it would be best if I shared this particular experience to all whom would choose to listen and believe and that I would learn yet more lessons from doing this. I would be a big help in raising the energy of those souls as well.


He said once I learned to do that, I would then be evolved enough to begin to share my learning with many other souls. He said that my marriage would suffer and my family wouldn't be very happy until I learned my lessons on how to handle my energy in a positive way.


We planned it in the city of spirit together, then took came to Gaia at our appropriate time. The group of us set goals that we were to help all of the individuals in the group. My future children are part of my soul group.  A part of my task is to nurture and protect them so that their paths would be more likely to be completed. He explained the children I would create are extremely important to He said that I would marry and have several children. He said I would be a healer of souls and that I would assist other healers in the completion their paths. Bob said that eventually people would seek me out so that I might help them answer their own questions about spirit.


He said I would have this experience with me always and that I would face obstacles along the way that would keep me from sharing what I have learned. I was to share my story. He said I would have money problems and problems finding and keeping a job. He told me that my life hardship would continue for many more years. These were future things that would happen in my life. Bob told me some of what would happen to me if I chose to return to Gaia. He said that was permissible. I asked him if there was a way I could see ahead and use what I saw to assist me to decide.


He agreed that I was accurate in what I said about learning so much from our interaction but I may want to weigh the decision in my heart before I decide. He told me to be patient. I told him that I had learned a great deal being with him and that I would be able to affect much if I were to stay with him and learned all that he could teach me. I asked him if I could just stay with him and he told me the same things the beings inside told me. I told him I had to go back but I really didn't want to do that. I told him what happened inside and he asked me what I was going to do. I met Bob outside.


Between what I had just learned and seeing my life over again, I respected the danger of staying as well as returning and felt my impending choice to be an extremely important one. Choices are a great gift we have but they can be influenced so much by many things. If feelings from the heart are not followed, they can cause an overall negative effect on much more than anyone can possibly comprehend. Temptations abound and choices are many. It is easy to backslide on Gaia. I knew that Gaia could be a dangerous place for a soul. I was fearful of going back, especially because of the wisdom I was just given from this experience. Here I thought I was all done on Gaia and felt I was going to move on but I really was not quite ready yet. I was surprised that I could feel as well as choose sadness and anger here. I was very sad that I couldn't remain in this great loving place. I left the room with great reluctance.


I had a decision to make that was really the hardest decision I would ever make and I knew it. They would not bargain most likely because they were basing their advice on facts from my life review that calculated the same way every time and they were experts at it. These beings understood me but they remained firm. I still didn't like the idea of living on Gaia and didn't really want to go back. I resorted to bargaining with these beings but it was no use. I became a bit angry as well. It was like I was given a present which was then promptly taken away. I was stunned to say the least.


They explained the fastest way to finish my work would be to go back to Gaia as soon as possible. I could stay if chose to but I would only be prolonging the completion of this phase of what I promised to do for this universe. The type of work I am destined for can only be done on Gaia. They said that it was possible for me to stay in the city but I would need to finish my work on Gaia sooner or later.


They said I was more advanced than I was willing to accept credit for and that I was shorting myself through not being proud of myself and not using the wonderful tools and potential that I carry with me in my heart and soul. I even told them I felt that my return would be dangerous for the universe because I was not advanced enough in my spiritual evolution. They said that was precisely why it would be in my best interest to go back to Gaia. I told them I was tired and wanted to stay because life on Gaia is hard and unforgiving. I didn't want to accept that. I wanted to stay and I expressed that feeling.


I was told that the events I had experienced thus far were preparing me to make a large contribution to the universe and that my actions were not to be considered personal attacks in any way. They said that I have great potential to affect other souls, to help them grow, and that Gaia is the best place to do that.


They said that I am needed on Gaia to help souls bring themselves and Gaia back to harmony. They said that I originally came to Gaia to learn and share with others using the wisdom that I have accumulated over several lifetimes. They said I had set lofty goals for my life on Gaia and the events in my life were achieving the goals I had set. They said that it might be wise to go back and live my life how I had originally planned it.


I was told it was understood how difficult it would be for me but it was necessary for the universe for me to finish my path. They agreed and told me that I still had many things to do and that I may want to go back and do them. I was well on my way to doing that but now I knew I wasn't finished, yet I didn't want to leave the city and go back to Gaia. I knew why I had come to Gaia to accomplish. I knew those beings knew what I was thinking and I had to tell them that I felt that I could have done a better job on Gaia.


I had this idea that if I said more positive, I would actually have more of a chance at staying. I really liked where I was before the review started and really wanted to stay there. I thought about lying to them and saying I affected others more positively, but I concluded that would not be the best thing for me to do because was simply not true and if I did they would know anyway. I hesitated when they asked me whether I affected others more positively than negatively. I knew that I had to provide an honest assessment I could not lie. After my records finished playing, the beings in the room asked me questions about what I saw and how I felt about my life up to then.